I have pondered long enough on this topic to know just exactly how it works. Each time I think about it, a wise saying always comes to mind, ‘’NOBODY KNOWS HOW THE WATER GOT INTO THE COCONUT’’.
This proverb makes me smile, I really don’t know why… I guess it makes me feel like I COULD be a secret sniper *wink* if I want… and I’d be the only one who knew.
Enough said, I am of the school thought that one needs to share personal experiences to help one another come to clarity once in a while. Like they say, EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER.
However, I worry about how much is too much to share? Idle gist about one’s life and experiences could be damaging in the wrong hands. I could go on and on about how these happened to me and how that didn’t happen without really minding who exactly I was talking to, FRIEND OR FOE?
If or NOT, my personal experience should be kept a SECRET. I cringe at the thought that I might have had diarrhoea of the mouth in my bid to be some sort of inspiration, haha!.
BEING THERE. DONE THAT. I HAVE A BADGE. A lot of us feel that way most of the time, like we need to direct someone but then again that opens you up to criticisms, judgements, envy, hate or the reverse could be the case.
Personally, I think that before anyone ventures on sharing some personal details, it should pass through a few tests.
1. HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH TO SHARE?
Imagine this scenario,
MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER.
‘’your sister was raped!!! Oh my! I’m so sorry… please take it easy on yourself, I know how it feels. My mother was raped by my half-brother. ‘’
And if there’s someone else listening to this pep-talk, the person goes, without pretty much saying it out,
THIRD PERSON
‘’What kind of family is that?’’
‘’My brother will never marry from this family. GOD FORBID. Not even anybody I know’’
‘’Gross!!’’
I bet you, this third person will tell a fourth.
2. TRY NOT TO ILLICIT ENVY.
MISS CRAMPY.
‘’My boyfriend is so annoying, we live together but I feel like I’m living alone. Can you imagine, I get to fetch water while my boyfriend plays PS 4!!!’’
BEST FRIEND
‘’What? Tony knows better than that, in fact he’s like my handy man and to top it all, he baths me.’’
And the third person listener just thinks out loud,
THIRD PERSON.
‘’Really? Did you have to rub it in? N a wa oh! Mscheeeew.’’
Don’t be amazed when your handy-man becomes someone else’s.
3. DON’T BE A KNOW – IT- ALL.
MISS I WANT TO QUIT.
I feel like quitting this relationship, men will always be a complete douche bag’’
MADAM ITK.
‘’ I’ve told you over and over girl, I know MEN, I know how they think and behave. Heck! I have 7 brothers and I’ve been married thrice! QUIT!!!.
And the third person listener thinks out loud,
THIRD PERSON
How much world of good has that done you, asides trying to pick and analyse everything that a man does. Better don’t mind her MISS I WANT TO QUIT. Misery loves company.
4. DON’T GIVE ROOM FOR IDLE GOSSIP.
MISS I FEEL LIKE CRAP.
I feel so bad getting rid of my baby. I did it the first time and I swore I would never do it again.
HOLY FRIEND.
OMG!! You had an abortion? How could you? But you didn’t tell me. Why?
And the third person thinks,
THIRD PERSON
She didn’t tell you? Hell! She should have invited you to the banging party, maybe it would have been a jolly threesome.
Na wa oh! Mirabel and Stacy must hear this!! I just hope this one has not removed all her babies oh. Hmmmmm!’’
So, just how much is too much to share?
CHIDIADI MADUMERE 